View Full Version : The buffoonery begins anew...
Attention Galloot lovers everywhere, this is my journal. A home for lunacy, madness, progressive rotundity and the blood, sweat and tears of lifting heavy things for fun ( are we mad ) !
Like the Nun sat in front of her sewing machine, it will become a habit...
As this is the first post in my new journal it seems appropriate to give you a little background. I have been into bodybuilding since the age of 14 ( now 38 years young, daft and indifferent ). I used to swim for my School team and the coach put us on weights to improve our swimming. I prefered the feel of cold steel in my hands, and relished the opportunity to use such cliches in a real sentance, just like that. Anyways, I was a very lean, thin kid - with Ginger hair ! I dont know what I weighed but my folks got worried when the wind got up.
I trained hard under a guy called Dave Young, who had been Mr. East Coast and possibly won other such comps. He would be at least 50 by now I would guess, in case anyone knows him. Anyway, by 16 I was 14 stone and in reasonable shape. By 17 I was closer to 15 stone, and looked pretty good if I say so myself, still very lean with the classic Bodybuilder shape, large chest and shoulders with a slim waist - and no legs ! At that time I had a 52 chest and less than 34 waist with 16.5 inch biceps. I was close to competition ready, but to be honest I did not have the bottle to compete. The idea of stepping on stage in skimpy undies, with several hundred onlookers scared the crap out of me. Especially with the Ginger hair.
I stayed in decent shape right through my 20's. Did an 8 year stint as a doorman, and spent the same 8 years doing Go Shin Kempo Ju Jitsu under Martin Dixon, which was fun. I never stopped training, but did stop pushing myself. I lifted the same weights, more or less, for years, just doing kind of maintenance type workouts, staying in shape but not progressing.
At 33 I started my own business, car sales, and as we got busy I had less time to train, and more money to spend in flashy restaurants. Consequently my waist line started to expand at velocities never before witnessed. I never actually stopped training but got flabby and lost muscle mass. Anyhow, around about July last year I found a renewed interest in the sport, basically because I didnt feel like me. I had always been in decent shape and I just didnt feel myself in that condition, so I got stuck in. I also started running, although for me a run is more like a barely controlled fall.
By October 05 I was 17.5 stone and moderately slim. And then came the interest in strength training. Prompted largely by communication with Fat Pete and Andy Littler, who you may know, and Jonny Wildboar who you definitely do know. I started training heavy, by my standards around Christmas time and ate like a horse. By April 06 I was 20 stone 4 pounds and showing a reasonable increase in muscle mass, aswell as a quite impressive "power belly".
I had trouble with Squats, being a bodybuilder I did something which I thought was a Squat but was really better described as a slight dip, or a moderate bend of the knee with a barbell across your back. On the advice of Andy Littler I played around with a board under my heels and practised getting the depth, ass to heels, with a light weight. At Christmas I was Squatting 100kg while I learned the exercise, and it was heavy !!!
So the state of play is this. 3 weeks ago I did my first ever 1rm lifts, just to see where I was at. I made a 210kg Squat, ass to heels, 170kg Bench, and 210kg Deadlift. My low back is my weak point, and needs work. These lifts are raw, just shorts and T shirt and chalk for the deads, no straps etc. but I am fully aware these lifts are most unimpressive for a 20 stone bloke !
And so onto the journal. It should be noted at this point that I have just returned from 2 weeks in Tenerife, and the week before I left I did 1rms on everything, rather than my normal workout. I have all the lifts on Video, and if you are nice to me I might let you have a look at them !
I have therefore not done a proper session for 3 weeks.
As today is the first day of the rest of my life, I will start with yesterdays session :
Bench Press, 130kg, 5,5,5,5,4. The spotter ( my wife ) helped with the last two reps on the last two sets. This weight is 5kg down from before the Holiday.
Barbell Curl, 65kg, 5,5,5,1,0-forget it ! This was a little optimistic given the 3 week break. I should have used a little less weight. The form went at the end of the 3rd set, so no point continuing.
More from me tommorow. Thanks for reading, and I aplogise for the long rambling post.
Best 1st post ever mate !!!
I will dig out the links to your vids Dan.:confused:
Best 1st post ever mate !!!
I will dig out the links to your vids Dan.:confused:
Aw, you'll tell me anything Jonny :D
Thanks mate.
Galloot deadlifts 180kg x 3
http://i2.zvhost.com/2/y/yhtltoyr.jpg (http://www.zippyvideos.com/3892777565046946/galloot_3x180_deadlift/*galloot)
Galloot deadlifts 205kg
http://i2.zvhost.com/2/z/z4s5ibtp.jpg (http://www.zippyvideos.com/5250802985047016/galloot_205_pass/*galloot)
Dan on Putfile (http://www.putfile.com/crossfieldcarsales)
Jonny you are a complete and utter superstar.
Thanks mate.
We should warn people to turn the sound down for the Putfile videos :-D
jonnymills
05-31-2006, 07:00 PM
I just got in trouble for spending "too much time on the computer" reading your autobiography. Thanks.;)
Nice benching by the way:)
Justin Hurley
05-31-2006, 09:18 PM
You will make big progress this next 12 months as your body adapts to the heavy training.
Rob Thomas
06-01-2006, 08:28 AM
Like Jonny, my missus was moaning at me spending all night on the computer as I read your intro so I had to wait until I got to work before I could reply!
As Justin said, I'm sure you're going to make some good gains over the next year Dan as you seem to have the right sort of attitude to go with your big frame.
rickymullan
06-01-2006, 03:32 PM
Superb post......well worth flicking up and down as the boss walks about the office!
Dood....everybody has to start somewhere, and you seem to have a real decent platform to begin on. As Justin says, it just takes time and you will see huge gains in the first 12 months. A mate of mine has just done the same thing and in 8 months has put 50kg on his squat for reps, 30kg on his bench and 30kg on his deadlift. He has a background in bodybuilding type training for 10+ years and then just decided to get strong and compete.
So good luck and keep 'er country.
Neil Deighton
06-01-2006, 08:57 PM
lmao off great post!! good luck with your training!
Thanks for the encouragement lads. Today is Squat day and as it's been nearly 4 weeks now since I last Squatted ( there was no Squat rack in the Hotel Gym ) I'm gonna go nice and steady, probably 165kg-170kg for 5x5.
I generally train at 4pm, so more from me in a couple of hours.
Meanwhile some pics to letch over :
The best laid plans and all that :
Squat, 165kg, 3,3,3,3,3. Cramp in the hams was interesting !
Calf raises, 3x25reps.
5x5 Squats was not happening today, proof once again that weeks off do not agree with this buffoon.
I'll make the 5x5 next session, and then we'll start moving the weight up again.
Same for me dan mate,ive had a wierd coupl of weeks - i hurt my knee a little and then faffed around not training to fit the MT meet in so when i finally got back my lifts were a little off to say the least !!!
Im just gonna knuckle down and work thru it !!!
just out of interest, what body parts would you be training next friday ??:confused:
Aye it doesnt seem to take much to throw you back a couple of steps when you are only just moving up, if you know what I mean. I made 185kg for 5x5 for the first time before the Holiday, so I'm 20kg down AND doing triples. It's gonna take at least 3-4 sessions to get back where I was I reckon.
Difficult to predict what next Fridays session will be Jonny as it depends on how my week goes. I fit my training in around the business, so my training days vary every week. I would guess I would be back round to Squats again by then. What are you planning ?
Targets...
I want to put my targets in writing, in public so that you can all berate me if I fail to reach them ! I would like to hear from the experienced people if they are unreasonable, or too easy.
By Christmas I will 1rm :
Squat 250kg, ass to heels. Current PB is 210kg. I'm guessing that will need to be 5x5 at 200kg-210kg or so.
Bench 200kg. Current PB is 170kg. I'd guess 5x5 at 155kg-160kg would be needed to make that happen.
Deadlift 250kg. Current PB is 210kg. And once again I would guess I need to be making 5x5 with 210kg or so to make that weight.
That will give me a 700kg total ( purely coincidental, I havent worked it backwards ) which is 100kg more than my current total ( again, coincidence ).
Bodyweight I'm not too concerned with just now, but I'd like to stay reasonably fit and in moderate shape.
236kg in standard weight plates in leeds... (on ebay) (http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/236kg-of-Cast-Iron-free-weights-4x20kg-2x15kg-4x10kg_W0QQitemZ7245549693QQcategoryZ44083QQrdZ1QQ cmdZViewItem)
cant have enough plates big lad,especially the way your liftin !!!:mrgreen:
Only one thing to say today - DOMS
I can't bloody walk :)
Went out on the motorbike today, been riding for half an hour or so, came to a junction and almost fell over. I could barely get my foot to the floor in time.
Deep joy, deep pain, and deeply burning quadriceps !
Funky_monkey
06-04-2006, 08:18 PM
deadlift looked easy. great lifts and good luck with the goals.
Thanks Funky Monkey.
DOMS in the Quads have subsided today...
Overhead Press, 95kg, 5,5,3,1,2. To be honest I read my journal incorrectly and loaded the wrong weight on the bar. 90kg would have been nearer the mark today, maybe even 85kg.
French Press, 52.5kg, 5,5,5,4,3.
I'm struggling getting back into this after the Holiday. Still feeling dozy and lethargic but it will come.
Just a quick note from me to explain the complete lack of training related posts in my journal.
It's a busy time for me just now, those who know me will know of my recent involvement with a Nissan dealership ( I'm a car dealer ). Well, long story short the current owner of the dealership is in financial dire straits so I am taking the sales side of the business off his hands completely from Monday. It will be my business, completely independent of his, so you can call me Dan Dan the Nissan man !
We hope to have normality restored as soon as possible and then we can get stuck into training with renewed vigour :)
Fear not amigos, I am still alive and well and selling Nissans :D
I'll be back into a training routine very soon, hopefully by the end of the week. I'm wasting away, I need the iron !!!
I'll be back :p
you need a new super hero suit dan mant,with a nissan sign .....
i too an semi starting a fresh ...... let the good times roll my friend !!!
throw another shrimp on the barbie !!
Well this journal kind of stalled before it really got started didn't it !!!
Fear not, things are settling down nicely. I'm in Scotland Tuesday/Wednesday attending an Auction, so training WILL commence with renewed vigour on Thursday.
:mrgreen: Thursday eh ???
Time to get nasty on the iron chunky fella!!!
Oh,Dan got a new car today , so i have transport for the competition on sept 3rd - if you can make it i will drive and YOU can sit in the passenger seat, possibly massaging my thighs.
Top man dan.:mrgreen:
bulldog
06-26-2006, 09:52 PM
the comp is 3 months away you will all be burnt out worring about it.whos going to be first with an excuse not to do it ,what are your aims
If dan comes along it will be purely to hold my camera and shout as loud as he can !!
my aims are to get 9 good lifts in and come away happy.:mrgreen:
Black Knight
06-27-2006, 07:55 PM
:mrgreen: Thursday eh ???
Time to get nasty on the iron chunky fella!!!
Oh,Dan got a new car today , so i have transport for the competition on sept 3rd - if you can make it i will drive and YOU can sit in the passenger seat, possibly massaging my thighs.
Top man dan.:mrgreen:
Which comp is it?
I'd like to come and watch just for the experience-never been to one before.
Im aiming to make my debut at the Manchester & District on 29/10
its in birmingham in sept - right down the M6 !!! should be a good day.
I'll be there on the 29th watching mate,will be plenty there so it should be a good show.
little a
06-29-2006, 12:53 PM
I'm in Scotland Tuesday/Wednesday attending an Auction.
LMAO. Arnt you best staying away from Scotland?;)
Found you. You can run but you cant hide:D
Again I've found my font of buffoonery from which to dip my beak. I'm feeling sillier already and it feels good. Hope all's well Young man.
BK - glad you made the move even if you dont like 'Freinds'. I find a Sunday afternoon session of 'Takeshi's castle' helps with sqts, & Gladiators still rocks:cool:
Superb, my journal continues in my absence and LittleA joins the fold. Welcome aboard Andy, its good to have you on here mate ;)
It's kind of a shame to be back, you were all doing so well without me.
Anyway, it's been a long long time since I trained now thanks to the Holiday and the new site etc. it must be 5 or 6 weeks. I've lost a full stone, weighing 18 stone 4 pounds thanks to Auction food and not eating enough of it and I'm further around the middle than I was, so I must have lost some muscle. My arms are visibly smaller, my traps are disappearing and my boobs are sagging just like Grandmas, only bigger and with more hair around the nipples.
I'm gonna break in steadily over 3 full circuits before whacking the plates on, to prevent injury and get back in the groove. And because I'm a marred arse and dont wanna hurt too much ! Whatever I do I'm gonna be sore :(
Squat ( kg )
100x8, 120x8, 140x5, 160x4, 180x2 and thats me collapsed in a heap.
That 180 felt very heavy, if I'm honest the 100 felt bloody heavy !
Its too damned hot and I'm a fat bastard :p
But I'm back :D
yay !! Hi dan me oldmucka , good to see your breasts are sagging like mine,i dont feel left out now.
I enjoy dumbell bench - only really coz i dont have a spotter due to him being a spack when it comes to gym attendance !!
im building a powercage so i can train in my own shed a bit:
deadlift.co.uk/the mighty boars powercage (http://www.eazypz.co.uk/wildboar/powercage.htm)
when its done i will reach out and reel you into my shed of desire,weights and sagging busters.
:mrgreen:
Home made power cage sounds like fun Jonny. Depending on your standard of workmanship I guess its a good incentive to not fail the reps :)
Legs were tight today, tommorow will be interesting when the DOMS set in.
Bench Press ( kg )
100x8, 115x6, 130x3 ( shocked to fail the 4th ), 140x1 and failed the 2nd.
Hmm, I was making 5x5 with 130kg before my prolonged lay off so my performance tonight was very disappointing, but I'll bounce back. I'm keeping them short and sweet on purpose right now, until I get back into it. Leave myself wanting more, and all that.
I experienced a strange tearing sensation in the pecs tonight as I strained manfully against the weight. Some may call it pain, but to a trainee Super Hero like myself its just a mild irritation. Yeah, right ! ;)
Just to add to my ever growing list of excuses why I havent trained much recently...Thursday we opened till 8.00 pm, I got home going up for 9.00, hadnt eaten much and wasnt in the mood for training, so didnt, and Friday I sold a car and agreed to deliver it to Scotland ( from Bacup, Rossendale ) after work and drive back in the customers part exchange...so got home nearly midnight and collapsed in bed, but the deal was done so worthwhile.
The salesman is back in work on Wednesday, so training should assume its normal priority from that point. Anyhow its Deadlifts tommorow, without fail.
jonnymills
07-23-2006, 11:20 PM
So - how did the deadlifts go Dan, or did they not?;)
And so the buffoonery began anew, and stopped anew and then recommenced and then stopped all over again...but now it really will begin anew and will gather momentum because I have Jonny Wildboar and Jonny Mills and Fat Pete kicking my ass. No more excuses, time to get stuck in.
Christ it's been over 2 months since I last trained properly...I have opted to train around 9pm at night, for the simple reason that if I plan to train at 6pm and get stuck at work then I have handed myself an excuse to miss a session. So by selecting 9pm as my training time I should very rarely have good reason to miss a sesh.
So this all happened last night...
Deadlift. Mixed grip, no straps, no belt etc.
120kgx8, 140kgx8, 160kgx6, 170kgx4, 180kg x 3 singles.
I was absolutely AMAZED how hard this was. Did I really lift 210kg in May ???
Smith Machine Rowing - which I may have invented :???: This is like an upside down press up, suspend yourself from the Smith machine at arms length, body parallel to the floor, and "row" with your bodyweight. I like it.
3 sets of 10.
Lat Pull Downs, 60kgx8 wide grip, 60kgx8 narrow, 60kgx8 wide.
And that was me soaked to the skin.
Tonight is Shoulders and Triceps, I'll post the results tommorow.
Thanks for sticking with me. I'm not one for excuses, those of you who know me know that. I took on new business premises in June and it's been a pretty busy last few weeks, but now, like all good Super Heroes, I have returned.
So there :)
DrRick
07-26-2006, 10:30 PM
Welcome back, big man.
Chris Williams
07-27-2006, 08:30 AM
Smith Machine Rowing - which I may have invented :???: This is like an upside down press up, suspend yourself from the Smith machine at arms length, body parallel to the floor, and "row" with your bodyweight. I like it.
3 sets of 10.
Hi Dan. These are called 'Body Rows' or 'Fatman Pullups.'
Dr. Rick, thanks mate. I've sent you half a dozen emails and they bounce back. Dunno what the problem is.
Chris, DOH ! Did you have to tell me that. Shattered all my illusions. Fat man pull ups indeed :(
Last nights session went like this :
Shoulder Press, 60kgx8, 70kgx8, 80kgx6, 90kgx2
Shrugs, 90kg for 3x8
French Press, 30kgx8, 35kgx8, 40kgx8
Breaking into it nice and steady, don't want to be too sore as I still have to function as a "normal" human being in the daytime - and Super Hero of a night. Damsells in distress, cats in trees, the usual stuff ;)
I open till 8pm on Thursday, so it's going to be a regular rest day for me. I'll be back on Friday with Squats...
P.S. Bodyweight is 18 stone 6 lbs, 117kg. I am 2 stone down from my "best" weight, but on the bright side I have gained 2 pounds since Monday :)
Eat, eat, eat !
Chris Williams
07-27-2006, 11:59 AM
Chris, DOH ! Did you have to tell me that. Shattered all my illusions. Fat man pull ups indeed :(
Sorry Dan! I prefer to call them body rows as it makes me feel less fat. To be honest I don't find them a particularly natural feeling movement but it's nice to have them as an option to throw into the mix from time to time.
cuntos
07-27-2006, 12:16 PM
Welcome back Dan. I can't believe you're a fair bit lighter than me now, you skinny fucker! :p
Welcome back Dan. I can't believe you're a fair bit lighter than me now, you skinny fucker!
Chris, not a natural movement eh, you ain't see me move mate ;)
Cuntos, is that your real name ;)
Done anything creative with Tin Foil and Gravy recently Tom :D
Feel free to bask in your glory, for it will be short lived :)
I'm off to eat.
little a
07-28-2006, 07:47 AM
I can't believe you're a fair bit lighter than me now, you skinny fucker! :p
No he's not, you're just a fat Cuntos.
Will you be tagging along with Millsy, JWB & Fat Pete to Addlington then Dan?
Fuck me Alan will have a field day with you lot. He'll lose his voice:confused:
When is this Adlington excursion ? I might just tag along, provided I get 3 or 4 weeks to get back into moderate shape !
Squats were scheduled for tonight but in my excitement I did them a day early, so this is from last night :
Squat, 100kgx8, 120kgx8, 140kgx6, 150kgx5, 160kgx5, 170kgx2, 180kgx1
Ham Curl, 40kgx3x8
One Legged Calf Raises, 3x20 with each leg
I'm such an idiot for taking such a long break. Today, walking is a challenge...
Tonight is month end and my head is buried in invoices and receipts, and money:D
So tommorow will be Bench Press etc.
Dan my maaaan,
I was hoping to train regularly@ adlington but i finish work too late, however i am hoping to go down for a session sometime in august to sort out either my squat or bench ..... or deadlift:???:
got yer mail, bummer bout friday - such is life,will reply soon.
your squats are lookin ok, just pick up where you left off big man !!
love boar
Holy Mary Mother of God.
Ouch :o
My Legs no longer function and I have two strange lumps on the back of my shoulders, obviously from where the barbell was resting. I've never had that before.
Serves me right for being a lazy sod and taking 2 months off.
If I am ever tempted to take a break again someone please remind me how much it hurts when you start back...
Tonight is Bench Press but I have a sneaking feeling it might actually happen tommorow. I've sat down now and don't know for sure if I can get up again...:???:
Fook me, my legs are worse today than they were yesterday :o
I spent my day hobbling around a car auction getting some very strange looks and a couple of knowing smiles from two lifters who recognised the symptoms ;)
Bench Press, 100kgx8, 110kgx6, 120kgx5, 130kgx2, 130kgx2
My 170kg PB from May seems impossible !!!
Barbell Curl, 35kgx8, 45kgx6, 55kgx6, 65kgx2
Weight now 18 stone 9 pounds...
Thursday is a rest day because I'm open until 8pm.
More from me on Friday.
Grr, Mondays routine was spoiled by some strange fleeting illness, an illness which I have experienced before and appears to follow any night during which several pints of Vodka have been, accidentally, poured down my throat. Of course this could just be a coincidence...
Tuesdays routine was spoiled by a customer who insisted on getting lost on his way to see me and arrived much too late for me to train afterwards.
So tonight will be my first session this week.
Fat, dopey, useless, Ballock ( note correct spelling of the word ! ).
I need a training partner to kick my ass.
Any volunteers ?
I'll provide the garage, weights and training aids...a pair of matching Rotweillers trained to bite your ass if you fail a rep.
I will volunteer right now !!!
no excuses,i will come down next week for a session......
monday - is there anyway you can train on monday evening dan ?? i am doing deads
or
friday evening - bench/shoulders ....again it will have to be in the evening, i know you like to be naked,infront of your computer befor 8 ......... :mrgreen:
And verrily, young Jonathan Wildboars offer was graciously accepted.
Hope to do sessions with the Boar every Monday and Friday, in the evenings. And I'll do Wednesdays alone while JW is at Adlington.
I'm sure Jonny will make me sore in all the right places :)
Tonight is Deads, Rows and Curls...jolly good.
And thusly the training commenced, and blow me if I didn't work up to 200kg on the deads with Jonny's encouragment.
JW continued onto a comfortable 210kg but it was too much for me today and my lift ended about 4 inches off the ground.
Fat boy pulls ups and 3x5 arm curls with 40kg + the 6 foot bar ( 10kg ??? ) finished off the sesh.
We're off and running, and this time with Jonny shouting at me there will be no excuses.
awsome sesh mate,just what i need pre-comp.
good lift on the 200 dead - raw , got the 190 on vid....
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Hanley
08-15-2006, 01:51 AM
No belt on the DL Dan??
Hanley, no mate I train without a belt on account of the fact that my belt was eaten by a pair of marauding Rotweillers and I am too tight to replace it. I blame Andy Littler, because I think it was he who told me to train without a belt - at least for now.
Jonny, you tricked me matey :D
I have always counted my 7 foot bar as 20kg, so in my head, last nights lift was 210kg, so only 5kg away from what I was pulling in May. I think you may be right though and the bar may well be less than 20kg - I'll weigh it tonight. Even so, as I was using the same bar in May that means I haven't lost much, despite being on a "see food" diet and supplement free.
I'm a happy boy, with a sore back, traps and forearms :D
Can't wait till Friday.
Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear. About 1 hour to go till squats and I'm still feeling like I have been run over from Mondays Deadlift session. My back, traps, abs, biceps and forearms are all stiff as fook and pretty sore.
I am genuinely dreading this squat session because I know how much it's gonna hurt and how hard walking is gonna be for the next 2 or 3 days !
Serves me right for being such a lazy ballock for the last couple of months.
Ah well, here goes, I'm gonna fry 'em and get it over with :)
Jesus, Mary and Joseph.
Squat. Couple of warm up sets then :
120kgx5, 140kgx5, 160kgx5, 170kgx2 - failed the 3rd, left it at the bottom of the rack. At this point my low back was killing me, still sore from Monday.
Smith Machine Hack Squat, feet well forward, ass very nearly on the floor, all the load on the Quads.
125kg 3 sets of 5.
Nearly died. I can barely stand up, I'm so out of shape it's unreal.
The next couple of days will be interesting :)
uk machine
08-16-2006, 09:22 PM
Allright galloot! good to see the training back on track!!Just some of my views im giving here, but to easing back into the training moderate and lots of volume is the way forward in my experience. take warms up more slowly as well like bar 60kg 80kg 90kg 100kg etc and do a top set of 5x5 with decent ish weight. this way your lifts will come back quicker and you will wont be walking a cripple either. well this what i find to work well. yoru cns needs a week or two of just doing the actual movements, the weight is fairly irrelevant. anyways looks like you wll be upto big weight s in no time!
Uk machine, good to hear from you mate. Hope things are going well for you.
I'm sore as fook this morning, wish I had read your post BEFORE I did that workout :)
I'm more of a "kill or cure" mentality and to be honest I am very mad at myself for letting myself take 3 months off just because every day life got in the way !
I was so mad at myself last night for failing at 170kg. I fully expected to knock out 5 reps and then drop to triples at 180 and 190, these weights were already written in my diary, ready to write the reps next to them...the mind was willing but the flesh was very weak. So I made myself suffer to failure within the safety of the Smith.
The soreness will be a reminder to me to stop taking time off, and it serves me right for being a lazy bleeder :)
I'll be back in no time.
Keep in touch mate.
In a moment of deep contemplation last night I decided it was time to set myself some new targets. My last targets were a little pessimistic, being new to the game and all that, so it's time to move the goalposts as they say.
After careful consideration - and with a tiny little bit of belief in myself beginning to blossom - I have decided that I will do a 250kg Squat, 250kg Dead, and 200kg Bench before New Year.
For the record, I did a 210kg Squat, 215kg Dead and 170kg Bench in May.
These are all "raw", in shorts and T shirt and low cost Hiking Boots, because I am a complete buffoon and know no different. No belt, straps, wraps or, come to think of it, proper technique either !
I mean, how the hell do you use your legs in a Bench Press ???
This is obviously pure fantasy and, like the fairies at the bottom of my garden, Father Christmas and premature ejaculation, I refuse to believe in it...
I hereby give you all written permission to kick my ass until I hit these targets.
Then set me some new ones :)
i totally believe you can get them lifts dan mate !!!
let the brutal training begin !!!
Too true Jonny.
Oh, I forgot to mention, if I do it, you do it too :)
DrRick
08-17-2006, 10:44 PM
Are you guys coming to the north-west bench in Oldham on Sunday to watch Martin et al? There's talk of a few of the Sugden boys coming over.
And if you are, do you know what time it starts??
hi rick - joe from adlington is taking part and i heard fatpete talking to littleA about it, im fairly sure they are going, i cant im afraid - the wife is taking the kids to a birthday party and i have to finish flagging the back yard.
bummer.
rick,are you still gonna do the oct comp ?? im deffo deffo goin and loads will also,should be ace.
DrRick
08-17-2006, 11:16 PM
I intend to assuming I've learned to squat less like a pillock by then. I'm filled with hope.
I wonder if there's a record for the lowest total ever posted by a 125kg senior lifter?
Black Knight
08-18-2006, 09:41 AM
I intend to assuming I've learned to squat less like a pillock by then. I'm filled with hope.
I wonder if there's a record for the lowest total ever posted by a 125kg senior lifter?
I might be pushing you for it-as I get heavier my squat goes down!
Hi Doc, sorry mate but Sundays are a difficult day for me just now, until I can persuade my salesman to work 7 days a week - he currently takes Sundays off and the Wife and I do them in his place.
As for the squatting, I had a lengthy discussion with Fat Pete some time ago and he convinced me that confidence is a huge part of the squat. My squat improved no end after I realised that. You can lift more, you just don't think you can or are afraid of falling over. Get some good spotters and go for it. Good luck Rick.
JW, don't worry, I've made arrangements for Sept 3rd and will definitely be there to hold your coat. Whats this other comp in October ?
As a side note I can barely walk today, so tonights training sesh with the Boar will be interesting :)
Disappointing Bench session tonight, but semi decent Overhead Press session...
Bench 110kgx5, 120x5, 130x3, 140x1 then the second rep was spectacularly left on the rack :mad:
Jonny proceeded to make 3 smooth reps with the 140, then went onto 150 and I could only stand and watch. I did actually decide to do a controlled negative, unracked it and felt a sudden rush of ambition so went for it.
And completely failed.
Overhead Press. 56kgx10, 66x10, 76x6, 86x1 plus 2 push presses.
It's nice to be back at it, but I'm very frustrated at how much I can lift.
I need to get on the Creatine and Protein, sort my diet and really get stuck in.
Bodyweight 119.5kg ( 18 stone 11 pounds )
Just a quick visit to say how wondrous I feel after my first proper weeks training. I feel full of energy and ready to go. Buzzing. My legs especially, although STILL sore, seem to have responded well to the volume and intensity I gave them this week ( in relation to my present condition, of course ). They feel really good and ready for more, so I'm going to finish every leg session with 3 sets to failure on the Smith to really fry those Quads.
little a
08-21-2006, 01:55 PM
Dude. Badboy007 has just got back from Thailand full of pox and self made porn DVD's. He'll be up North back end of next month and is after a Saturday workout followed by an impromptue chippy Saturday. He was asking if you and JWB would be game or pussy's. I told him I reckoned game, but I have been wrong before.
Aye should be up for that as long as it's PM.
As for Chippy Saturday, can I get away with that after Chippy Monday, Bacon Butty Tuesday, Kebab Wednesday, Chippy Thursday, Chinese Friday and several pints of Vodka Sunday :)
I hear Landrover are planning an adventure trail around my waistline !
little a
08-22-2006, 08:11 AM
PM's fine by me mate. I'm usually unemployed most weekends anyway.
Landrover should officially sponsor you as an off roader Super G. What you're describing is the makings of a power belly. Greatness has to come.
Weight now 19 stone 2 pounds.
I'm not too concerned about keeping it clean just now, I'm eating anything that stays still long enough :)
Deadlifting with The Boar...at Reps Gym instead of my Garage.
Warmed up through 100kg, 140kg, 180kgx3, 200kgx1, 210kgx1, 215kgx1.
Tried 220kg and failed, but was convinced I could do it, so tried again.
And failed.
215kg is a PB, but I will get 220kg next week.
Shrugs with 96lb Dumbells in each hand, 3x8. Didnt like the feel of Dumbells, never used them for shrugs before. I'll use the barbell in future.
Moved onto some rows on a fierce contraption that fries the lats. Moved a certain number of plates on the stack for 8 reps, then added 3 for another 8 reps, and then added 3 more for a final 8. Next time I will count how many plates I am using, it might be helpful !!!
Finished with some curls on a EZ bar. Once again I've not used an EZ bar before and 40kg plus the bar was challenging. I'm guessing the bar is heavier than my bar at home because I am happy for 3x6 with that at home.
Then again I was tired by this point so maybe it was that.
Squats with The Boar on Friday.
Deep joy.
good stuff dan,you godda be well pleased with the sesh, getting 220 to your knees is a whisker away - all with no belt !!!
uploading your vid right now !!!:mrgreen:
<object width="425" height="350"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/pfB1mPUm0xE"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/pfB1mPUm0xE" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" width="600" height="350"></embed></object>
:mrgreen: :-D :mrgreen:
Cheers for the vid Jonny, those things are so useful. I keep telling you that your ass is too high, and then I see that and realise I'm doing the bloody same !
Need to work on form. Need to get someone to show me/us how to deadlift properly.
I also need to get some calves and some Sunshine on my Milk Bottle complexion :p
Squats till we drop on Friday JW.
Squatting avec le Boar, at Reps iron emporium, in a highly unlikely pair of shorts.
100kgx5, 140kgx5, 160kgx5, 170kgx3, 180kgx1, 190kg conveniently left on the rack because I couldn't get up. Grrr. I should be laughing at that weight.
Jonny proceeded to show me the road home, making 190 and 200 look very comfortable. Chunky bloody Monkey.
Smith Machine Hack Squats for Quadricep annihiliation. 100kgx6, 100kgx5, 100kgx5. Fried.
Calf Raises, first time ever. I think it was 50kg or something but felt like a lot more because of the leverage on the machine.
Next session Monday, chest and shoulders.
Have a good weekend dudes and dudettes.
EDIt:vid isnt available yet , please be patient and whilst your waiting try a cool pepsi cola from the lobby.
edit 2:its now working .....my camera ran out of juice, but you get most of it !!!
Dan,are you now confident as my chief camera man ???:???:
Dans very deep 180kg squat !!! RAW !!
<object width="425" height="350"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/5OCEQomXjbg"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/5OCEQomXjbg" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" width="600" height="350"></embed></object>
top stuff matey.:mrgreen:
Cheers JW, these vids are brilliant training aids and serve to highten my morbid awareness of the ever growing bald patch on the top of my head.
P.S. Did my ass look big in those shorts :)
Bodyweight now 19 stone 8 pounds, 124.5kg
Eat eat eat.
Oh, and lift things.
Tonight was a strange one. Felt slightly below par until I started lifting, then I started to feel more like my old self. This was the most encouraging session I've had recently, suddenly my old form doesn't seem so far away. The strength, such that it was, is coming back, but not for the same reps. Don't think they will be too far behind though :
Bench Press.
50kgx10, 90kgx6, 110kgx5, 120kgx5, 130kgx3, 140kgx2, 150kgx1, 155kg - fail. Lowered it nicely under control, but couldn't get it back up today, nowhere near in fact. I was training alone, so thank heaven for racks :)
Overhead Press.
25kgx10, 50kgx6, 70kgx5, 80kgx5, 90kgx3, 95kgx1
The 3rd rep with 90kg took a lot out of me, it was one of those reps that takes about 3 seconds to lock out. I wouldn't have made 100kg, so that was enough for this session.
I didn't see the need for any direct tricep work tonight. I'll start including that from the next session.
Splendid pumps in the pecs and traps. The traps are once again heading for my ears, which is just where I like them 8-)
Rob Thomas
08-29-2006, 06:59 PM
Nice effort on that squat Dan!
Thanks Rob. I'm going too deep apparantly, but desperately need some growth in the quads so better that way than not deep enough. Still 30kg shy of the PB - which was also too deep - but it's coming.
Deadlifts tonight, and to cut to the chase I missed the 220kg again, dammit. Innappropriate string of expletives deleted :mad:
60kgx5, 100kgx5, 140kgx5, 180kgx3, 200kgx2, 220kg fail, 220kg fail, 180kgx3 singles.
My low back didn't feel particularly fresh tonight, a bit tight and stiff, but I still thought I would make that weight.
Lat Pulldowns, 3x6 wide, 3x6 narrow. A certain number of plates on the machine that I neglected to count, again, but it ended up heavy enough !
Machine Rows, 3x6. Again added plates until it felt heavy enough. I really must start taking my log and counting the plates...
Barbell Curl, dunno what the EZ bar weighs, 10kg seems about right, it's a solid old cast iron device so :
30kgx6, 40kgx6, 45kgx6, 50kgx6, 50kgx4
My conditioning is completely out the window. I've gained weight very quickly over the last couple of weeks and I'm blowing like buggery, drenched in sweat and tiring far too quickly.
I can see some cardio on the horizon...but not yet :)
On the plus side we spotted a very attractive young blonde lady in the Gym wearing black Lycra pants - makes mental note to write to the inventor of Lycra and thank him most sincerely for his efforts - so I think I will become a member...it's either that or hang around on the car park until I get arrested.
yea, she was fit as !!!!
220 will be pissed all over very soon big dan
DrRick
08-31-2006, 05:30 PM
Wouldn't that make it hard to grip?
Dr Rick has a good point JW, urinating on the bar, whilst undoubtedly being a very macho thing to do in a crowded gymnasium whilst wearing nothing but low cost hiking boots, would lower the co-efficient of friction between skin and metal, and would make a nasty, sticky goo out of the chalk. Not recommended...although we will probably see some holier than thou conservationist green peace type geek on the TV this very eve, sporting a wooly jumper that he knitted himself ten sizes too big and covered in Pig shit, trying to convince us that it's good for your skin.
On the subject of friction, I was planning to do some very intense, high rep grip work this evening but my willy is already too sore...I might have to service the wife instead.
Dr Rick has a good point JW, urinating on the bar, whilst undoubtedly being a very macho thing to do in a crowded gymnasium
PMSL, i will do anything to up my max !!!
see you sunday dan,pip pip 7.30......
No training today due to a funeral. It's not because of the tears and sadness, its because the whole family ended up in the pub - just as my Uncle Mack would want it - and I don't fancy squatting half cut.
I'll squat tommorow.
RIP George McKenna, you will be missed.
cuntos
09-01-2006, 07:26 PM
Sorry to hear that. My condolences mate.
I'm looking forward to meeting you lot on Sunday. Look out for the VERY FAT goateed cunty-looking bloke, that'll be me.
Thanks Tom, I'm looking forward to meeting you too. In fact I am mixing the Gravy at this very moment and have stocked up on Tin Foil...
However, there will be no tomfoolery - or Danfoolery - until after the lifting :)
Top day at the BPC Open Championships yesterday, some very impressive performances there. I was well pleased for my mate Wildboar who made a 210kg Squat, 155 Bench and 235 Deadlift, all 3 lifts being PB's and you can't ask for more than that.
I met several of the members on here and they all seemed like top blokes, although I was rather pissed off at being the smallest bloke in the room :(
We saw 3 new British records, which were a woman doing a 200kg deadlift, Cornelius Parkin doing 332.5kg deadlift and Rich Ellis doing a 245kg Bench. Proper stuff. I was also blown away by Chris Jenkins squatting 375kg...
I was very pleased to finally meet Big Tom ( Cuntos ) who may well have a bigger arse than the Boar, and is remarkably good looking for a fat cunt.
But the undisputed highlight for me was calling at KFC on the way home and watching Fat Pete destroy a bargain bucket with very little help from his friends. Truly an awesome spectacle.
Squats with The Boar at reps iron emporium.
140kg, 5x5, as low as I can go. Weight felt very comfortable, reps got hard. I was blowing like an old steamer.
I am officially a fat bastard.
Smith Machine Hack Squats, 100kg, 3x5. Nice pumps in the quads.
Calf Machine, 4x12.
Weight 19 stone 11 pounds.
Next sesh Monday, Deadlifts.
The lift of death, with The Boar...Jonny brought a wooden platform with him which he has skillfully constructed in his spare time, he's a very industrious little Boar you know. This device is a serious implement of torture, especially with a belly like mine. Just getting down that far to get hold of the bar was challenge enough and squeezed all the air out of me in the process, so I was content to use Jonnys deload weight...
Platform Deads, 140kg, 3x5 and I was fooked. I've never done these before, never even seen them done, but judging from the effort required I would guess they are very good for you. My heart was pounding against my ribs like an Alien which amused the hell out of Wildboar. I'm guessing if you can pull 200kg for sets of 5 off this platform then 250kg in a conventional dead would fly up.
Lat Pulldowns, 4x8 - Jonny suggested T Bar rows, but I needed something where I could sit down :-)
Barbell Curls, 50kg, 4x5.
By now I was totally wiped out, all from the platform deads. I was soaked through with sweat, looked like I'd been swimming with my clothes on.
Fat bastard.
Oh yes, weight was exactly 20 stones. The life of a true buffoon beckons once again.
Dans top tip : If your taking a chalk ball to the Gym, try and pack it inside a little plastic bag or something, rather than letting it rattle around your bag covering all your wordly goods in chalk...furthermore, if your taking a bottle of drink with you make sure the lid is on properly, otherwise the drink leaks out and makes an interesting sticky goo when it mixes with all the chalk.
Rob Thomas
09-12-2006, 12:41 PM
Dans top tip : If your taking a chalk ball to the Gym, try and pack it inside a little plastic bag or something, rather than letting it rattle around your bag covering all your wordly goods in chalk...furthermore, if your taking a bottle of drink with you make sure the lid is on properly, otherwise the drink leaks out and makes an interesting sticky goo when it mixes with all the chalk.
LOL, I've done that in the past too Dan (the chalk ball bit)!
cuntos
09-12-2006, 01:08 PM
I was very pleased to finally meet Big Tom ( Cuntos ) who may well have a bigger arse than the Boar, and is remarkably good looking for a fat cunt.
Great to meet you too Dan. Flattery will get yuo everywhere... ;)
Flaming nightmare it was Rob. My car keys were in the bag too and when covered in sticky chalky Vimto goo the remote locking no longer works. The car is of course for sale so I'm going to have to splash out on a spare, or get the valeter to valet the key fob. Buffoons always learn the hard way !
I sent you an email earlier in the week Tom, but then I forgot you can't work email. I'll send my six year old round to show you how :-)
Or are your fingers just too fat for the keyboard ?
Actually I shouldn't take the pee cos your far bigger than me. Except where it really counts :-)))
Mike Adams
09-12-2006, 02:25 PM
LOL .. this has gotta be the most entertaining progress/journal on the forum. Hope the training is going well Dan .. i'm sure you'll be starting to hit some pbs soon.
Was good to meet you although very brief at the BPC Open in Birmingham.
The lift of death, with The Boar...Jonny brought a wooden platform with him which he has skillfully constructed in his spare time, he's a very industrious little Boar you know. This device is a serious implement of torture, especially with a belly like mine. Just getting down that far to get hold of the bar was challenge enough and squeezed all the air out of me in the process, so I was content to use Jonnys deload weight...
:mrgreen: :mrgreen: :mrgreen:
5 x 5 next week dan, none of this ghey 3 x 5:icon_pee:
Thanks Mike. If I can spread a little happiness along my merry way it kind of makes up for all the evil nasty things I did to Frogs when I was a speccy little ginger kid with no mates. Much as I am today in fact...
JW, yes indeedy. I kind of wondered about a couple of sets of platform deads, then maybe 3 sets of conventional deads, but whatever you think is best is fine by me. Among my fine collection of weaknesses my low back is my main one. What are my strengths ? You may well ask, as like most Super Heroes ( trainee ), I keep them well hidden. Of course if I told you I would have to kill you, but I can say that among hamfisted myopics I am without equal.
Bench, Overheads and Triceps tonight JW, be there or be oblong.
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